Global Domination

Audio Autopsy - April 2013

01/04/13  ||  Global Domination

Suffocation: Pinnacle of bedlam

7.6/10

Lord K: You know what you get with Suffocation. Death metal. US death metal. Above average but far from being superior. 7

Habakuk: The best thing about new Suffocation records is that they re-record old stuff from “Breeding the Spawn”. Still, this isn’t half bad. 7

CadenZ: Although good, I’ve always thought of Suffocation as slightly over-rated. I might have to reconsider and revisit their back catalogue. 7

BamaHammer: This is a band that has always clicked with me. I like their old classics, and I even liked them after their reboot back in ’04. This album is probably their best effort of that latter era. 9

Sokaris: That first song Suffo released had me scared. It sounded like a weak-ass deathified version of Exodus’ “War is my shephard.” The rest of the album stands up though, typical crushing, techy brutality but what the fuck else would you want at this point? 8

Necrowretch: Putrid death sorcery

7.2/10

Lord K: Seems like they dig their old-school Swedish death/black metal, which is fine with me. The early Necrophobic vibes put a smile on my face and the general atmosphere of this disc is somewhat appreciated in these times of Pro Tools and computerized productions. Can’t say I give much of a fuck about this new breed of “tribute” bands though. But it’s decent-to-good stuff, this. 6

Habakuk: This oozes old school. I have to give it an 8, even if I suspect it doesn’t have huge lasting value. 8

CadenZ: If your vocalist is going to sound like a crow, make him sound like an evil and diabolical fucken crow. Like this guy. Very somber death metal with obvious Necrophobic influences. Daddy likes, quite a lot. 8

BamaHammer: I’m not a fan of the dry production, but the riffs are groovy to keep me happy for a little while. 6

Sokaris: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT. So Century Media is scooping up bands like this and Morbus Chron and reissuing stuff like old Thanatos these days? Maybe they’re trying to cash in on OSDM but I give no fucks. This rules, even with the absurd reverb. 8

Vreid: Welcome farewell

7.0/10

Lord K: I thought I would hate this, but I don’t. Make no mistake though, I’m not actually loving it. More than “just” black metal, for what it’s worth. 4

Habakuk: Black metal that goes easy on the blasting and adds a bit of a catchy, rockish old school feel. I think I dig it. 8

CadenZ: As much tasty Unanimated-type melodic death/black as primitive Norwegian BM. What’s not to love? 8

BamaHammer: No-nonsense melodic black n’ roll. This is nowhere near Vreid’s best effort, but it’s still really good. 7

Sokaris: I’ve not kept up with Vreid much since in my head they’re filed as the thing the Windir guys did when the main songwriter died. Definitely an unfair categorization as they’re definitely a different animal and have put forth a damn fine effort. Time for me to do some catching up. 8

Tormention: Hunger for flesh

7.0/10

Lord K: Tormention is easily one of the best death bands Sweden’s got to offer right now. I order you guys to go get this album. Buy it. Support them. This is how you fucken do it and this is why Sweden is the undisputed king of this particular style. 8

Habakuk: Sounds like CC, Aeon and so forth, but fails to evoke any strong feelings in either direction. 7

CadenZ: Forgettable but professional (and decent) death metal. 6

BamaHammer: This is some fairly generic Swedish death metal, which is better than a fairly generic prison rape or a fairly generic Blümchen album. Right, guys? Right? 6

Sokaris: Sick, disgusting, old school worship. Goddamn dripping with gore and sick. It’s over the top, even cartoonish at points but it’s a fucken blast. 8

Skineater: Dermal harvest

6.6/10

Lord K: Matte Modin will always be one of my fave drummers. Great to hear him doing some “real” metal again. The melodies are nice, the brutality is intact and the performances are flawless. With the right backing I’m sure they’ll move on to greater things. The potential is here. 7

Habakuk: If you absolutely need one Cannibal Corpse clone this month, take Tormention instead. 6

CadenZ: Nothing wrong with this putrid pile of steaming death songs. The highest peaks are missing, but other than that you’ll have a hard time finding anything to complain about. 8

BamaHammer: Skineater sounds like a million other death metal bands out there these days, and they don’t do nearly enough to give themselves an identity. They’re not quite Peniseater but they aren’t Greateither. 6

Sokaris: Decent, if generic, death metal with an unfortunately flat production. Some highlights but I bet this comes off way better live. 6

Desolate Shrine: The sanctum of human darkness

6.4/10

Lord K: Too much shit entering my stereo today. This death/doom stew is poorly produced and uninteresting on exactly every level you can think of. Whoever decided to include this shit in AA should be hit in the nuts with a fucken baseball bat. Can’t possibly score it lower than the abomination that is AA-colleagues Bullet For My Valentine though. At least this is metal. Or something. 3

Habakuk: They’ve got dissonant death/doom down, but I feel a little more songwriting couldn’t hurt. 6

CadenZ: The oppressive atmosphere that permeated the debut album is intact. High quality anti-life doom/death that shows, to their advantage, even more glimpses of DS’s black metal sound. Looking forward to that baseball bat, K! 8

BamaHammer: Loud, noisy, ugly, plodding death metal with a nihilistic black metal attitude. I dig it. 7

Sokaris: I’m digging this whole monochromatic, oppressive death metal thing that seems to be all the rage these days. Desolate Shrine aren’t quite as obscure sounding as a lot of bands that fit that description, but in an increased element of groove makes up for it. 8

Kongh: Sole creation

5.6/10

Lord K: I never understood the hype about this band and “Sole creation” leaves me as unknowing as before, though I _can _dig a few things here and there on this piece. 4

Habakuk: Mastodon with less notes and heavier doom influence. Pretty good! 8

CadenZ: You are the anvil. Kongh is the hammer. Hetfield is the table. Rough, unpolished doom/death with a hostile atmosphere. Me like. 8

BamaHammer: Christ this is some slow, filthy, dirgy shit. Don’t trust my opinion on stuff like this. I find it boring as hell. 3

Sokaris: I wish I could say these songhs suck dongh just because I like to throw out smartass, insulting puns (they’re exquisite delicacies to writers) but it’s… well, okay. The songs are a bit too longh, though, HA! 5

Omnium Gatherum: Beyond

5.4/10

Lord K: More carnival/Disney metal, but unlike Eternal Tears Of Assholes (rightfully placed further down), Omnium Gatherum’s got themselves some more Amon Amarth in their music and don’t blow completely. I’ll never be a fan though, but it kinda works if you have lost every single one of your other CD’s. 4

Habakuk: If you like this kind of stuff, i.e. melodic death metal with a little elusive Gothic vibe, check this album out. 7

CadenZ: A suckier version of Godgory with a constipated vocalist (seems like most Finnish melodeath bands have that problem). This was old in 1998. 4

BamaHammer: All these melodic death metal bands should probably just go ahead and call it a day. 4

Sokaris: For the most part I’m really disgusted by how melodic death metal has evolved. Sacrificing the genre’s core appeal (sharp, catchy, thrash-influenced licks) for ill-advised inclusions of electronica and angst. Omnium Gatherum are fortunately more Dark Tranquillity than they are In Flames in this regard. 8

Eternal Tears Of Sorrow: Saivon lapsi

4.8/10

Lord K: Disney metal, people. Disney metal. I can dig me some electronics and crap in my music, that’s no secret, but I can’t possibly dig it when it’s sounding like Eternal Tears Of SoHo. Considering the fact that the keyboards take over the majority of the sound picture, I’m sure whoever’s playing them runs this band. At least they look grim and all, that must count for something. Actually, no – it doesn’t. 3

Habakuk: Finland. 5

CadenZ: Melodic elf death with a constipated crow on vocals. Even though some parts are above average, the Disney aura that permeates the disc constantly kills my pseudo-boner. 5

BamaHammer: I got depressed just reading the band name. Symphonic extreme metal with fairies on keyboards and chicks ooh-ing and ah-ing is never going to be something I’ll be into. It’s not quite Nintendo metal, but it’s Sega Genesis metal, and that’s close enough. 3

Sokaris: I’m finally becoming okay with the fact that the new EToS sounds less like their old stuff than Kalmah (who was basically formed by a member exodus years back) and I’m digging it. Sounds like a grower but for now I can give it a solid… 8

Stratovarius: Nemesis

4.0/10

Lord K: The only time I gave a fuck about Stratovarius was when that Tolkki guy went batshit insane and pissed on his band mates. Those were fun times. I’m too fucken metal for this. Right. 4

Habakuk: If your main instrument is a keyboard, count me out. Fuck this shit. 2

CadenZ: Blip. Blop. Blipety-blop. Bloop. Bloooooooooooooooooop. 3

BamaHammer: Yes, you read that right. Against your wishes, Stratovarius is still trying. 4

Sokaris: Goddamnit I’m turning into such a fag. First Rhapsody and now this? Damnit, this isn’t half bad at all. 7

Manilla Road: Mysterium

3.8/10

Lord K: We just hit a new low when it comes to productions. And I guess that goes for the vocals as well. Actually, Manilla Road’s hitting a lot of fucken lows here. I’m happy for them. 2

Habakuk: As in the olden days, Manilla Road’s (only – no wait, the name…) problem are the vocals. Sure they’ve changed, but they’re still only tolerable, at best. These guys should hire JB Christoffersson and they could be great. 5

CadenZ: Shit production, shit singer, boring songs. Apparently the Manilla Road leads to Boring Shitville. 3

BamaHammer: The ugliest dudes in metal return with another shitty album no one outside of their immediate family gives a fuck about. 2

Sokaris: My write-up of 1986 helped fuel a fledgling romance with these cult metal heroes but I’m still iffy on the vocals. 7

Otep: Hydra

3.4/10

Lord K: This “poetry” thing she’s including on every goddamn album is boring me to tears, but on other occasions Otep doesn’t suck it half as much as most other bands in this edition. Considering the shit featured I don’t know if that’s such a hard goal to accomplish though. 5

Habakuk: Oh, please. Does anybody over the age of 13 care about this sort of bullshit “I am so borderline I wear black nail polish” girlie metal? 3

CadenZ: If you over-distort your already manually distorted screams, I’m automatically gonna assume you’re a shit vocalist. At least there was a riff or two (out of four hundred) that were decent. 3

BamaHammer: Chick-fronted nu metal is not something I’ll ever be into. Go figure. 2

Sokaris: Even in the world of nu-metal, Slipknot did the pretentious tortured thing better and My Ruin did fem-angst first. 4

Krokus: Dirty dynamite

3.2/10

Lord K: I guess it’s impressive in some ways that these guys are still going on, but much like throughout their entire career no one gives a shit about Krokus. This album will hardly change that. And hey, when the fuck did they start to sound like an AC/DC clone altogether? 3

Habakuk: Yeah, you sound like AC/DC alright. It really ain’t bad, but please, Dad. Get out of the garage, you’ll catch a cold. 6

CadenZ: Krikey, look at the size of that KROK! And its ANUS! Or as we like to call it: KROKUS! 2

BamaHammer: Krokus debuted in 1976 and sucked then. Let your imagination go to work to give yourself an idea of how bad they suck now. This shitty rock album gave me an obstructed bowel and dementia. 2

Sokaris: Grandpa, come on, can you keep it down a bit? I’ve got a girl over and your friends creep her out. 3

Wednesday 13: The Dixie dead

2.8/10

Lord K: Eh… No. Absolutely not. Go away. Forever. 2

Habakuk: Utterly forgettable. 4

CadenZ: Breakfast. Work. Lunch. Work. Dinner. Sauna. Bed. That’s what happened on Wednesday the 13th (three weeks ago), and I guarantee you that it was 300 million times more interesting than this shit record. 2

BamaHammer: I hate America. 2

Sokaris: The Murderdolls were kind of a guilty pleasure for me but realistically I don’t think anyone needs more than like 25 minutes of this material. Piles of cliche and overtly obvious influences that just make me miss White Zombie. 4

Bullet For My Valentine: Temper temper

2.8/10

Lord K: So, this is the kind of music you’re supposed to play if you wanna hit home with the kids and make money? Trust me, I rather stay piss poor and keep my self respect intact than doing so. Bullet For My Valentine is fucken ridiculous and so is everyone who’s a fan of them. Very suitable band for April Fools Day.2

Habakuk: Rockcore that I can’t bring myself to listen to. 4

CadenZ: I hear metalcore. I hear college brat pop. I hear gay. 3

BamaHammer: Bullet For My Audio Sensory Perception. 2

Sokaris: Metal for four year old girls. Does anyone really take this garbage seriously? I do thank them, however, for choosing a moniker that lets me know ahead of time to expect pussified pop garbage. 3